A couple months ago, I was walking around in a bookstore. Not intend to buy the book at first, just wanted look around. Since there are no interesting book, I was idly around to the other.
I bought some craft paper for fun. I saw right next to the bookmark. It seems so long ago I do not buy it. I was reminded of my school days in advance. It was one of the bookmarks are valuable for me. Sometimes we make it your own with laminating a picture or a favorite word.
But now, almost all of the book comes with a bookmark. I was looking at, about which I am appealing to buy. I like with bookmark that contains words of wisdom or words of wisdom. So I began to sort through. There are some that attracted me with title of “Marriage” (remember I’m married now). I really like the words, poked, but there is something in it.

“All weddings are similar, but every marriage is different”.

Yes, indeed. I agree with that. When we talk about wedding, what we have in our mind is party, celebration, happy faces, even for a simple celebration. There are no tears of sadness. Only tears of happiness. But when it became a marriage, each spouse must have their own story. Not all marriages work out as we expected, nor as others. Sometimes the days filled with happy laughter. But not infrequently the loneliness and tears accompany the day.

“Marriage is our last best chance to grow up”.

In some cases, may have a point. But that was not our last chance to grow up. There are many other opportunities that make us more mature. Whether it’s our behavior, or even change our mindset. Maybe one day we became parents. There must be more mature self as compared to the marriage that just lived alone with our husbands. When our chilrdren growing up, parents would be much more mature than when their children was a child. And so on to be grandparents, even unto death. Being an adult is not the absolute price that must be possessed. Sometimes being childish is also needed.

“Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash”

I love this quote. That’s what people should understand. In marriage, there must be mutual understanding. I was very lucky, because my husband is understanding and willing to help for the household.


The Soloist.

Two weeks ago or maybe more, my friends talked about “Pursuit of Happiness” aired on TV. And it reminds me of “The Soiloist”.

I watched this movie about two or three years ago. I don’t remember for sure. One thing that I remember, the film is etched in my heart. What a beautiful story to told. At first, of course I’m interested with the actor. One of the hottest man in Hollywood – Mr. Robert Downey Jr! 

But this movie not only about the actor. It’s about the story, caring the others, find ourself, hope, dream, life, and music! Yeah music keep us alive, don’t you think? and the best part, this movie is true-life story. I always fall in love with true-life story 🙂 Made me appreciate life more. Although only for a while.

Steve Lopez (Robert Downey Jr), a journalist who stuck in a dead-end job, as well as his marriage. Nathaniel Ayers (Jamie Foxx), a talented cellist, but he suffered schizophrenia, made him end up on the streets after two years of schooling at Juilliard.

In his mess condition, Lopez met Ayers. A homeless who played two-strings violin. He was more surprised, when he knew that Ayers once attended Juilliard. He wondered, how could a talented and had been a student in Juilliard could end up on the streets.

He began to write about Ayers in his column. Give him a place to live. Help him realize his dreams in an orchestra concert. But gradually Lopez realized that not only Ayers who he helped, but also himself. The story is illustrated with a very beautiful way. Makes you realize everything about life. Warms your heart.







A moment that sucks is when you have the inspiration to do your will, but imprisoned by your routine. A routine that you must not live as you wish. As I feel now. And it’s very sucks. It messes up your morning.


while i’m sitting here in my office, but i want to finish my writing.


I can not stand to hear my sister crying. She lost her baby. I lost too. We all lost. Our family in mourning.
Lost is always hurt. But I believe there will be another great thing ahead. We know God has a plan that’s best for us.

Maafkan aku karena aku harus pergi.
Maafkan aku harus pergi tanpa bertemu denganmu dahulu.
Maafkan aku karena tidak sempat tumbuh didalam rahimmu.
Maafkan aku karena tidak sempat membuatmu gembira dengan bermain-main didalam rahimmu.
Memberikanmu gerakan dan tendangan kecil, yang akan membuatmu terharu dan bahagia.
Rasa mual yang kau alami di pagi hari, tidak berlangsung lama.
Ingin rasanya aku berbagi rasa lapar denganmu.
Membuatmu selalu ingin makan dan menikmati semuanya berdua denganmu.
Membuat tubuhmu dan tubuhku bertambah beratnya, namun kau tidak akan protes.
Karena kau ingin membuatku tumbuh sehat.
Tidak perduli dengan perutmu yang semakin membesar.
Namun apalah kuasaku ini dibanding kuasaNya.
Ternyata Dia memilihku untuk mendampingimu di surga nanti.
Janganlah bersedih Bunda.
Walaupun aku hanyalah kantong rahim yang kosong dan harus pergi.
Namun aku tahu, kau tahu, kita pernah bersama.

Dedicated to my dear little sister. No more tears sis. I’m sorry can’t be there beside you. But you know how much I love you.


Inevitable by Anberlin

I heard this song accidentally, when I listening to my favorite song’s station, Jango (you can find sooooo many songs!)
Simple song. Nice melody. Beatiful lyric.

Do you remember when we were just kids
And cardboard boxes took us miles from what we would miss
Schoolyard conversations taken to heart
And laughter took the place of everything we knew we were not

I wanna break every clock
The hands of time could never move again
We could stay in this moment (stay in this moment)
For the rest of our lives
Is it over now hey, hey, is it over now

I wanna be your last, first kiss
That you’ll ever have
I wanna be your last, first kiss

Amazing how life turns out the way that it does
We end up hurting the worst, the only ones we really love

I wanna break every clock
The hands of time could never move again
We could stay in this moment (stay in this moment)
For the rest of our lives
Is it over now hey, hey, is it over now

I wanna be your last, first kiss
That you’ll ever have
I wanna be your last, first kiss

Is it over now hey, hey, is it over now
Is it over how hey, hey, it’s not over now

I wanna be your last, first kiss
That you’ll ever have (that you’ll ever have)
I wanna be your last, first love (that you’ll ever have)
Till you’re lying here beside me with arms and eyes open wide
I wanna be your last, first kiss for all time


Pagi mendung di hari Sabtu

Alarmku berbunyi berkali-kali, masih membuatku malas untuk beranjak dari tempat tidurku. Begitu pun dirimu. Masih setengah tertidur. Kubuka jendela. Mendung pun mengiasi langit. Angin pagi terasa lebih dingin dibanding kemarin. Dan aku suka itu. Sabtu yang sempurna di suatu kota hujan.
Hhh. Betapa ingin rasanya aku menghabiskan pagi yang sempurna ini bersamamu tanpa harus berangkat ke kantor. Betapa merasa bersalahnya aku meninggalkanmu sendirian walaupun hanya sebentar saja.
Satu gelas papermint tea permintaanmu kusiapkan untuk kita berdua. Kamu bertanya, mana tehku. Aku menjawab, berdua denganmu. Aku suka mencicip minumanmu. Ditemani roti molen Kartika Sari yang kau bawa sepulangnya dari Bandung. Pas sekali. Kamu dengan berita bola di tv mu, karena tadi malam kau terlalu lelah untuk menunggu sebentar saja acara bolamu. Dan aku dengan setumpuk pakaian untuk disetrika. Pagi yang lucu. Ingin rasanya ku bingkai moment ini bersamamu. Dan menggantungnya di dinding hati kita.
Akhirnya tiba saat aku harus pergi. Kau mengantarku dengan sepeda motor kebangganmu. Kebanggan kita. Ingatkah kamu pada saat diperjalanan tadi pagi kita melewati sebuah rumah yang dibangun. Rumah besar dan pasti akan bagus nantinya jika sudah selesai. Namun kita sepakat bahwa ada yang kurang dari rumah itu. Tidak ada halaman belakang. Karena kita menyukai halaman belakang. Aku pun berkata bahwa aku membayangkan suatu hari nanti di suatu sabtu pagi, kita duduk berdua di beranda halaman belakang rumah kita. Kamu dengan koran pagimu. Aku dengan novelku. Akan ada secangkir teh ataupun cokelat panas kesukaanmu. Dan aku masih dengan kegemaranku, mencicip minumanmu. Ditemani roti bakar keju favoritmu. Dan mendung yang membayangi kota kita. Sungguh pagi yang sempurna. Suatu hari nanti. Akan ada moment itu untuk kita.


..welcoming JUNE..

Some poeple said in they thought..June is only the six month of the year.
Some people in some country hailing summer season.
Some poeple in other country getting cold of the winter.
Some couple celebrating their love in summer breeze.
Some couple separated of summer vacation.

June is not only a month for me.

June is my celebrating month. Today, my father’s birthday. I called him to say Happy Birthday, ask him what he wans for his birthday. He said “nothing”. Well, that’s him. That’s parents. They are never ask somethinf to their kids. I wish him a happiness and healthiness for everything.

June is my lonely feeling, my missing month. I feel a little sadness in my heart. I miss my parents. I miss my ‘C’. The worst, I miss my self. I found some blog in the end of May. Beradadisini. Hanny, she is the bloger. She wrote her words so beautifully and meaningful. I kind of miss my self everytime I read her words.

June is my month of waiting and hope. Waiting for my husband’s mutation of his work. Hoping his next assigment will be close with me. Hoping for the best in my work now. I don’t know whether the next month will still be here or not. I waiting for my husband.

June is my another surprise month. ‘C’ birthday in next 2 weeks. Now, I think hard to give him a surprise. This is our first celebration of his birthday after we’ve got married.

I just hope that everything going well in this June.. 🙂